Samurai Says :
In the living room a couple is sitting watching TV when suddenly the man gets up
Man : Friends , sisters , brothers , uncles , aunts and my fellow sri lankans. It is with a heavy heart that I have to declare this : I am leaving this life to become a Samurai. In the next three to four minutes I am going to decide what my Japanese name will be.
Woman : HOney , who are you talking to. There are no sri lankans here.
Man (continuing) : Chao Whun Mao. That’s my name.
Woman : well I could have suggested some names ..
Man : First of all , suggesting names is illegal in Japan
Woman : But we’re not in Japan , babe , we’re in Madurai.
Man : now before you do it. Before you say my name , there are some simple rules that I want you to learn and never forget
Rule number 1 : always always bow down when you say the name of a samurai. Some people may even go as far as to bow down when they think of a samurai name. I leave it upto you.
Rule number 2 : After you say the name of a samurai , you are not allowed to breathe until the samurai responds to you
Rule number 3 : wear traditional Japanese clothes whenever you want to say the name of a samurai
Rule number 4 : Do not ever dare to look into the eyes of a samurai because that will lead to certain vasectomy or tubectomy as the case may be.
Woman : well thank you , so if someone wants to get themselves sterilized all they have to do is look a samurai in the eyes.
Man : Let me inform you my fellow Pakistanis
Woman looks around …
Man continues : Let me inform you that my wife here , Chung Ding Pao , is the first Indian who was born in Tin Dung Meh , went to school in Ji Lung Sha, went to party in De Jung Pei , got a hangover in Din Shuk Jei and finally became a Samurai in 1974.
Woman : Oh !
Man : After living in the forest for almost.. three hundred years , my wife became an expert Hunter-Gatherer. She had the skills to hunt down and kill a deer in less than 23 seconds. Some forest people have reported that she had the speed of three dozen cheetahs and the agility of nine Russian gymnasts. Also she had the knowledge of Five hundred University Professors.
It is during her time in the forests that she was drawn towards the majestic world of Japanse Samurai. She was invited by the masters of Japanese culture to speak on some important issues.
Please , Chung Ding Pao, tell us what went down in this meeting.
Wife : Well said , Chow Whun Mao . Well we had this meeting some two hundred and fifty four years ago to discuss about what to wear while Sumo Wrestling.This meeting lasted two years after which we came to a definite conclusion.
Man : Thank you Chung Ding Pao I remember seeing the documentary about this meeting on the History Channel…
Woman : Chow , would you like to sit down here and tell me about your adventures in the South China sea ?