A family (Mother-named Mary , father goes nameless , daughter named Pippa and son, Gino) is sitting around a table.
Dad : Pippa , I know you got your exams tomorrow but there’s something more important than that darn exam that I have to discuss .. so just hear it out.
Mom : Oh honey I had never imagined our boy would do something like this. (starts crying)
Dad : hold on hold on , its nothing that I cant fix. Now Gino , I want you to take full responsibility of your actions and like a man , I want you to admit what you have done.
Pippa : dad can we do this later …
Dad : no , this has to be done now
Gino : dad Mrs. Teterboro is a liar. I don’t know what she’s told you but just trust me dad , none of it is true.
Dad : Gino , do not question my intelligence
Pippa : jeeez Dad !
Dad : shut up Pippa. Mary give me that box
Mary slides the box towards him
Dad opens the box and takes out a bar? of lipstick and hands it to Gino
Dad : Gino , you know what this means , it’s a family tradition. Do it. You have done something terribly wrong now you will have to put that damn lipstick on your face
Gino : dad I swear I’m not lying
Dad : then confess , young man ..
Gino : this is crazy I haven’t done anything. That miserable old fucking woman I’m gonna …
Dad : mind the language boy ..
Pippa : come on dad this is crazy , I don’t know what it is that he’s done and I don’t want to hear about it over again . I have an exam tomorrow for crying out loud !
Dad : you shut up girl. This wont take long…..Gino do it , you have lied and now you will have to do it
Gino : Dad I swear I did not ..
Mom (crying) : I never thought ..oh he’s ..
Pippa : I lost my virginity last night
Dad : WHAT !
Mom stops crying and takes the lipstick from Gino’s hands and smears it on Pippa’s face
Gino : I told Mrs. Teterborough that Mr.Teterborough died in an accident
Dad : What the hell ..
Gino takes the lipstick and applies it on his lips
Pippa : I lied , I didn’t lose my virginity last night , I lost it last year. And it was …it was Uncle Hary
Mom : Holyyyyyy honeyyyyy (crying)
Pippa takes the lipstick and applies it on her forehead
Gino : I call the sex hotline from your phone every night dad
Dad : Oh you miserable ..
Gino takes the lipstick and applies it some more
Pippa : When you two had gone to aunt Christie’s I had invited everyone from college and guess what I had sex on your bed
Dad : I swear mary If I hear any more of this I’m going to bang my head on the wall
Mom : No ! Honey we have talked about it. Remember what you told the therapist ..
Dad : yeah yeah
Mom : Remember you told him you would never bang your head on the walls of our new house ? Honey we had such a hard time repainting the walls of the old house..
Dad : yes Mary yes ! holy Christ give me a break ! My two children are speaking of absolutely abominable stuff they’ve done and you want me to just sit here ? looking like a fool ?
Mom : Oh god
Dad gets up and and starts walking towards the nearest wall
Mom : Look what you’ve done you two children of the devil !
Pippa : yes , that’s right mother , and there’s more.. I steal money from your purse whenever you’re on the phone
Mom holds her head and is controlling her anger or whatever it is. She’s angry , wants to cry, wants to throw up. Everything is happening to her
Gino : Mom I also steal money from you
Pippa : Yes he does and guess what we do with the money he steals
Gino : we smoke pot
We hear dad yelling oh God nooooo !
Gino and Pippa by now have applied lipstick all over their faces.